Some of you know that I sat with a beautiful and POWERFUL cactus medicine last week called Huachuma/San Pedro/Mescaline. After a week of integration I'm ready to talk about what has transpired and what my intentions were going in and how that affects YOU and our community.
Going into the ceremony I was feeling very POLARIZED. As I have direct lineage ties to the chaos that is happening in the Middle East, I felt this intense drag into the depths of the suffering of those affected by the war. HOWEVER the deeper struggle was actually not that, it was more how the world was responding to this specific catastrophic events and the psychotic projections that were being vomited on innocent people who were trying to grieve, stand up for their right to exist and heal their own traumatic wounds.
I was feeling very imbalanced by the fact that the people in the Western world were once again shouting on the social platforms their opinions about things they know very little of, to the point where it was actually causing more harm. (Deja Vu circa 2020)
While this was all happening I was seeking my own integration of my own traumatic ties to being Jewish, Israeli, etc. Personally I have let go of being identified with any type of Religion, or even culture as part of my non-dual practice and focusing more on unity consciousness. However as I was trying to embody this the outer world kept sucking me back in and I was realizing there was still this hook in my body, to something that didn't feel pure it felt programmed.
Going into Ceremony my desire was to rid myself of energetic parasites that were formed within my lineage, in many lives and to create a clear pathway to why I chose to be "here" in this incarnation and how it effects me personally and my ultimate soul's purpose.
As soon as the medicine came on I felt the pain of the women held in captivity in my womb and began to vomit and purge. This was something I was hoping to avoid but alas, was futile to think the one thing plaguing me was going to be brushed aside. As I began to clear these parasitic energies I felt this feeling of helping those who were in captivity clear some of the horrific energies that they were not able to do. It became clear to me that this vessel (my body) was here to help transmute these dark energies for those who were unable to as well as my own.
This is NOT a hero's complex, as I also investigated that in the medicine. This actually was very challenging and painful. I'll share more about the rest of the experience in a continued post but today I want to move to present moment. This huge release has allowed me to see clearly what my path is and how futile and inconsequential these physical modalities like social media used to project our anger and fears are to helping the collective heal.
It was effecting me so much that I was questioning my own desire to love the very essence of what it means to be part of a tribe that is rooted in the most ancient teachings in the world. I am not interested in identifying myself as a specific person, in any religion. Today I am being lead to study Hermetic Magick and Kabbalah. BEFORE it got tainted and twisted in Judeo/Christian Religion. I do not feel the need to explain how I see this distortion came to be as many of us already know and those who don't can seek that out if they desire to know more.
My focus is to use these practices to help clear the distortions for myself and those who wish to participate in this collective liberation. The image in this post represents a woman who is afraid to speak because the world is trying so hard to silence her with political correctness, virtue signaling and trauma triggers. This is how I felt before the ceremony.
I will no longer stay SILENT. However I needed clarity within to know how to speak the words that felt solid, grounded, without scarcity and fear, and with solid Source conviction.
This feels like a lifelong initiation, once which I'm here for 100%
The Hebrew language is LIGHT LANGUAGE and I've always known this, when I speak, read, sing and write in these beautiful codes. There are MANY out there who wish to demonize this and at first I was feeling diminished by those people. Today I am not afraid of their daggers for they stand in this polarized, political correct, possessed projection that has nothing to do with the purity of the roots of this ancient wisdom.
I would say this is Part 1 of a series but I am unsure at the moment as to how many posts I will write that will encapsulate my experience with Huachuma and the evolution of my path into these deep teachings. As I mentioned this is a lifelong exploration, this is definitely part 1 of many chapters to come.
Blessings and Aloha
Sari Starr
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